when my bones are aching to be turned
to dust and blown through
the beautiful,
please remember this:
i am not here.
i am everwhere you are and all the
places i dreamed i would be
i am silently laughing through dandelion
dream-breaths
i am awkwardly tip-toeing past your
conversations with God
i am butting into your memory, planting
seeds of happiness like New Orleans
gardenias and Bloomington wildflowers

Remember
that i am one part saved, two parts
redeemed,
and three parts redemption's last living testimony
your breathing is my homecoming
revival, my last hope of
leaving this life unweathered
we are tethered at the soul, you and i.
and if that sounds scary, we are moreso joined
at the simple act of laughing
aloud

keep this close:
i once gave myself away
because i thought i owed something.
now i give myself to you
because i know that i deserve

this light is so fragile.
i have never said that
i could go alone.
but i am here, present most
when you aren't listening
creeping in and creaking open
the door to your soul
you've always had a thousand lights shining through
like a replica of
never-ending Orions
and i have strived to make
your soul reside in mine,
your heart give up some room
to let me inso i could tell you
while it's still beating
that your matter makes up my essence
and your core makes up the strength in me.
the courage to stay and say
i need you to remember me
when i am silently begging your forgiveness
when i am convinced
that i am untouchable
when your patience doesn't
seem like it's enough

i am that deliverance
you are the deliverer.
without you, i cannot be moved.

© 2009 Marcea L. Brown. All rights reserved