03 November 2009

a little closer

today is my childhood best friend's, so close we just knew we were related, closest thing i've ever had to a real sister's birthday... and all i had to offer her were tips on how to grow her hair naturally. i forgot whose birthday it was until i stared at the date for long enough to recollect.

news:
i am horrible.

i have been neglecting my xanga duties to play housewife and slug of the  year. i haven't moved a pen except in the occasion that someone may need my hancock for the many purchases i've made since migrating west. i've also been dreaming of florida and wondering why i still feel guilty for choosing. i've been saying things in my head that don't quite make it out of my mouth or into my fingers. i've been missing you most in the spaces between blue and white and have been methodically erasing your memory to take away some of the burden. i've been tired for no reason and sleeping more than i ever have. i've been feeling unattractive, unproductive, and unresponsive. i've been loving, though. i've been loving like crazy and not forgetting that. i have lost myself here. not in a way that makes me weak, but in a way that makes me remember who i am, but realize i can be so much more than what i have been. i have been thinking. considering things. you. love.

it's a simple world. i know the way it works. and i know i'm not the first...

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