something to love for

End of Seasons - Normal, IL

i don't often repeat myself
and when i do, i know that there is something
that you or i must have missed the first time
i have a knack for missing things
most of all, the shore
but when i stop dreaming about that,
i realize that i've been missing
everything.
myself.
you.
this lackluster memory isn't something
you can just wipe clean
i remember everything:
the first time i felt butterflies
on the second floor of a train
to the middle of nowhere.
the second time i told myself
i wouldn't fall
because surely no one would be there
to catch me this time
and even if they did
everything i touch has a tendency
to let go.
letting go is just the easy part
my heart takes it literally
and forgets to collect the pieces,
lets them make their way into my core
and break out to crack the surface,
the circus face i've been freak showing.

here,
i will show you my hands
and the marks i vowed to never
break into my skin again
it's the one promise i've kept.
it's the one line i've never
tried to cross again

because i don't want to repeat myself
i don't want to turn back dials
that i don't have to anymore
or open up chapters
that should have been finished before
i even left you..










some things should be more easily forgotten.