we have always been shallow breaths of faith
and you've always had a habit of holding yours
while i fight to not lose mine

it's inevitable that i would think myself bigger
and not have moved any farther
in six years
i haven't seen or loved nearly as much
as i try to convince myself
but i have mastered the art of leaving
and i know the tricky part of saying goodbye
is knowing you always have to leave right before you have to

i have always been good at remembering
the good things
and cherishing the awful
we have been a memory worth fighting for

Inevitably... there are things I miss
and things I regret
and promises I can't quite put my
finger on, but must surely be broken
There are spaces between
my clenched jaw and fists
that want to be held by
someone, anyone
who will sit and listen to my
unbearable silence
There are questions that won't give in
and answers that won't budge
There is heaviness, unavoidable weight
that sits and multiplies
the more I try to ignore it
There is so much pressure now
that you can see the buckling
under my pen and heavy fingers
There is no ending
There is only a continuation
when I least suspect its resurrection
Nothing ever dies
Nothing is ever finished
Nothing is ever new
So I see the same dream, always
the one where I'm chasing my selves
to get us all writing on the same page
to spread out the heaviness
((like nails to the back))

Same as it ever was..

We are looping.
We are pulling at shoestrings
and pocketing our failures
We were once something
Some Spanish sitar
Some lyrical motivation
We were once moved.
But we have settled into this
side-to-side notion that
things can change with no
Progression
We are pulling at the strings
that bound us here
We are tugging at the hearts
We lost along the way
This was my plea,
my backward hope
But we have warped it into a
last testimony of broken-ness
We are resolved, intent
on becoming nothing.