some things come true. god, for example

Sometimes I just want to leave this place
For some place
Where I can feel the sun
Creeping into my bones
To wake me up in the morning.
And sometimes
I just write to evoke sympathy
And maybe a little bit of
Hardness in you
Because there’s a lump in my throat
I cannot get rid of
No matter how much I cough,
No matter how much I tell you
That everything goes down easy.
Certain lines come easy
Like the ones I write on fast food napkins
So I don’t forget them while I’m
Trying to forget other things
Like the fact that I’m not good at most things
Including sympathy
No matter how much I hurt myself
So that I feel the way you feel
When I tell you that
Sometimes I just want to leave this place
Even though leaving doesn’t make things
Disappear
Disappearing is the only thing I’m good for
But there’s a hardness in you
That makes me forget that I am always fleeing
That comfort is always fleeting
And that laughter isn’t a banned foreign exchange
I have changed into someone I never imagined
But there is still a lot of letting go
Of all the soft comforts of being alone
And not being able to be selfish.